Hot Mess
Here I am in a mess of my own making, again. Plants in four inch pots surround me on every available surface, there is spilled potting mix on the carpet, the new IKEA terrarium is already propped open because the Philodendron verrucosum has decided to GROW, and my Great Dane Bella is snoring beside me on her dog bed. The temperature in my studio turned indoor greenhouse is 69 and the humidity is 51% according to the new ThermoPro thermometer stuck to the side of an old metal stool that my Monstera deliciosa is sitting on.
My real mess in an 18 year old herniated gallbladder incision. One that I herniated and had repaired and herniated again. Because, I’m not good at sitting still. Thus, gardening.
In April 2022, we had a late wet snowfall that caused a branch drop of all of the North facing branches on the mature Douglas Fir tree that shades our back oasis garden. They fell while I was taking our dog out at 6 am and we raced inside just in time. (I’m still grateful to be alive.) And while I cleaned up the 19 pick up truck loads of branches, I also herniated some bowel into my 16+ hernia mass. So, I’m a mess.
A hot mess that needs to lose enough weight to get the repair surgery done right. I’m hoping to get it done by September, if not earlier. I’m still selecting and drawing out the tattoo of a moss pole and plant leaves that will decorate my future 19 inch scar line. My surgeon says that it’s a miracle that I’m still alive and that he wants to wrap me in bubble wrap. The bubble wrap comment always reminds me of the scene of Kathy Bates in Fried Green Tomatoes. No bubble wrap for me.
The hernia has become unstable and life feels more ephemeral and precious. My life’s motto right now is life is short, buy the damn plant.
And right smack in the middle of this mess, I have fallen madly in love with houseplants. Specifically, anthuriums and philodendrons. But, any tropical with cool leaves catches my eye. Less than a month ago, I found the book Welcome to the Jungle by Enid Offolter and it opened me up to a whole new world of plants and plant lust.
And that is how I have grown my houseplant collection from six plants in October to over 150 plants. Let me tell you all about it.
